UNFAIR ASSUMPTIONS

[TheRealRuPaul]

I have noticed alot of rather unfair sterotypical comments various places around the net in regard to crossdressers being sexually purverse simply because they choose not to be full time. It is no secret that in my life I live as a man for the most part which I am totally comfortable with but usually people do not throw me in that "purverse" catagory with other CD's assumingly because I am somewhat attractive in drag. I guess what I am getting at here is it's unfair to attack others who choose to dress but not live as women simply because some of them are physically incapable of pulling it off full-time and have no other choice but to do it part time for fear of ridicule in the work place or from family because of lack of passing.

What do you guys think of this phenomonon? Can a CD have a lovely personality just the same as a TS? Is it really about the breasts for you or does the person inside count as well?

We all have reasons for the lifestyle choices we make and I think it would serve everyone online and elswhere to stop labeling one another and just ... be.

[Jasadin]

Yeah I been on a few forums where if a cd/tg/tv/ts or whatever label wasn't fulltime and"passable"they got no love.I always felt sad about it especially for someone who may not be as strong as me tryin to work it out.It's like we are some or the most sexist and intolerant crabs in the bucket. :roll:

reminds me of the thread a little bit.


http://www.tgirltalk.com/board/platinum/viewtopic.php?t=886

its funny,some guy called me a transevestite in some forum because i choose not to have bigger breast,and not to have any sort of facial surgery so i dont pass as a transexual to him imao,and i dont do my hormone replacement theraphy continously but i still live full time,although in the real world i dont have a problem passing,i work as a female,i get offered to model with genetic female, i get called miss never once ever sir i have alot of hetero admirers and friends,people treat me just like any normal girl with respect,most people dont even know ima transexual but i aint going to say im perfect,maybe some day...
Although some of these guys think you're only a a transexual because you have to fit to their expectation not that they're the perfect being anyway..far from it,ive been full time for almost 6 years even when im off hrt,and every member of my family know i live this way now so thats all thats really important to me at the moment..just for the people out there who isnt full time,who really cares what others think do what makes you happy not what makes them happy ok.....at the end of the day the most important thing is being your self...most of our admirers aren't going to be there for us later on sooooo "be your self"live it

[WillowQueen]

I don't hate CD's, perhaps it came out that way in another thread, but it was not my intention. I just don't like the idea that a lot of CD's do it for a sexual release. That's what I have a problem with. I'm not saying all do it for that reason, but a good portion do. If they have other reasons, that's great- let's have coffee.

[Ecstatic]

What do you guys think of this phenomonon? Can a CD have a lovely personality just the same as a TS? Is it really about the breasts for you or does the person inside count as well?

We all have reasons for the lifestyle choices we make and I think it would serve everyone online and elswhere to stop labeling one another and just ... be.
I agree: as Wendy Williams has put it, "labels are for packages, not people." Transsexuality and transgenderism cover a wide range of human sexual and gender behavior, incorporating all sorts of subsets (and in fact, the two terms themselves largely overlap but are not synonymous). I certainly think a CD can have a lovely personality, just as a gorgeous TS with all the finest surgical enhancements can have a horrid personality: it's not the body alone which makes the person, not by a long shot.

However, forums such as this one (though I think less so than a great many others) tend to skew towards particular subsets of the larger demographic, specifically the passable TS rather than the occasional CD, and as a result you're apt to encounter more opposition or lack of understanding in such a forum as a CD than you would as a TS. That's just the nature of the beast. But just as I think America at large is maturing tremendously with regard to how the population at large regards TS (of all types)--and I do think the progress is much faster than we in the community sometimes think, being so close to it, what with Transamerica, Nip/Tuck, Gray's Anatomy, Breakfast on Pluto and so many more high profile treatments growing more positive all the time--I think that we can be open and accepting in a forum like this.

[WillowQueen]

I certainly think a CD can have a lovely personality, just as a gorgeous TS with all the finest surgical enhancements can have a horrid personality: it's not the body alone which makes the person, not by a long shot.

While I agreew with you on that subject you certainly know that humans are visual creatures by nature and we tend to place more importance on looks than other factors. Of course, many people don't want to SEEN as superficial and say that looks dont matter... but they can't help it anyway.

I don't want to say everyone is this way, but you know people like this... tell me you don't.

[Ecstatic]

Absolutely, and while I'd like to pretend otherwise, to some extent I do, too, at least regarding initial impressions and desires. The first impression is visual, so yes, I'm initially attracted or not based on how someone looks. Once I begin to interact with someone, however, the other factors rise in importance and looks drop (though they still remain important, as far as attraction goes--that's the nature of my beast ;).

i dont have problems with bi men or gaymen crossdressing either, its their way of getting in touch with their femmenine side i know almost everyman has one of those,itsnot like they're going to become a trannys thers only a lucky few who will ever pass 100% and that is rare

[MsDazzler]

we have to be honest here. Please.... Look at the title of the forum. Tgirl Talk. It is not CD-Talk. :) I honestly feel like CDs and Tgirls are vastly different in their habits and mindsets.

[bunzy]

we have to be honest here. Please.... Look at the title of the forum. Tgirl Talk. It is not CD-Talk. :) I honestly feel like CDs and Tgirls are vastly different in their habits and mindsets.
LOL ,just like Gays and Tgirls

[Jasadin]

we have to be honest here. Please.... Look at the title of the forum. Tgirl Talk. It is not CD-Talk. :) I honestly feel like CDs and Tgirls are vastly different in their habits and mindsets.

Apples and oranges are different yet they are still fruit and need the same thing to grow.They also respond better when nurtured.Lighten up Dazz(if I can call you that).Don't be so territorial. :lol:

Next thing you know there is going to be a TGKLAN practicing segregation and lynching CDs.(I'm going extreme to make a point :idea: )

[Sonia]

I honestly believe there are many different viewpoints and opinions when we use the term "crossdresser." It seems like people associate that word with being a fake or being a fraud, or a phony woman. Another word I don't like is passable. The term "passable" separates us as a whole and causes tension between cd's, tv's and transexuals. The world is so caught up with all these stereotypes of crossdressers and people are feeding off them. I believe that the person on the inside matters more than their physical characteristics.

[WillowQueen]

Yes, and it's so hard to actually see inside a person until you talk to them. And some people won't talk to person simply because how they look... not knowing anything else about them.

to me a cd is someone who doeasnt dress full time and who doesnt pass yet during the day if you pass during the day and people dont know you were born male either without boob implants nor without sex change then ur still transgender/transexual pre op,but technically youre a transexual pre...when you are taking cocktails of hormones

[kellylicious]

I don't dislike crossdressers or transvesites..............however I do not like being hit on by one either...........Being in the drag world myself I've met people of all kinds... and all kinds of hate and disrespect too from the transexual community because I do shows and pageants so I don't condemn whatever makes you happy do it but don't be hitting on me thinking I want it either :lol:

[kellylicious]

we have to be honest here. Please.... Look at the title of the forum. Tgirl Talk. It is not CD-Talk. :) I honestly feel like CDs and Tgirls are vastly different in their habits and mindsets. However miss dazzler that could also be taken as Transgender Talk and as you know Transgender is a general term for all genres including intersex

goodlord miss kelly couldnt've explained it any better

how funny it is i never lived a gay life before i became a transexual the week or 2 after someone had introduced me to the gay scene and their gay clubs, i was also taken to a trans club where i stayed and never left...yet most of the girls i knew lived as a gay man before they transitioned can someone explain this to me??are they genuine transexuals or they should know where they fit as soon as they hit the scene?hmmm

[Ecstatic]

we have to be honest here. Please.... Look at the title of the forum. Tgirl Talk. It is not CD-Talk. :) I honestly feel like CDs and Tgirls are vastly different in their habits and mindsets. However miss dazzler that could also be taken as Transgender Talk and as you know Transgender is a general term for all genres including intersex
TG can be tgirl or transgender, and while I've never seen tgirl as short for transgender girl, only for transsexual girl, why not? But I don't think it's purely semantic, either: Dazz has a valid point about the focus of the forum being Tgirl Talk, not CD Talk. But the community and the admin (*MoNi*) decide the nature of the forum. If we are open and receptive of transgenders regardless of subtype (CD, TG, TS, TV), that's a good thing, but it does affect the emphasis of the forum. But I think there's plenty of room here for the full range of expression, and the thing that makes TGT stand out from other forums, to me, is the supportive nature of the community and forum members here, so why not?

[madison]

I dont dislike cds or tvs .but fact is at anypoint in time i hvae seeen several of them cause trouble in tg rooms .One good example is a cd that stole a tgirl freind of mine s pic &was trying to pass it as her own ,thats not right .cds for the most part in my opinion create there own havac on there selves.At least the ones ive seen &met.

[Texxx]

to each their own. i don't care what other people do or what other people find arousing.
there are 6 billion people in the world. for every person that gets off on something specific there is someone willing to provide it or excited by trhe same thing.
i enjoy some "perverse" things such as bondage, and i know it freaks some people out. i don't expect everyone to enjoy it.
whhether it is a lifestyle or just an occassional thing or just for sexual kicks- who cares?
life is too short.

ive seen females cause trouble in the room also and trans/gay hating heteros as well i love all sorts of people most of my friends are cd,tv they are more fun to be with so i have nothing against them

[WillowQueen]

Mmm... bondage. Er... um... what was I saying? Well, I did prove Texxx's point.

I don't like the cd's that just do it for the sexual factor. You wanna pass a girl, act like one at least while in drag. Otherwise don't be rubbing on my leg.

yeah i have a feeling one of the girl i know is like that she doesnt dress full time during the day, only when shes going out wanting to pick up men,i keep telling her its time to be full time,and she dont belive me and still dresses a guy a during the day,i like her personality and all but i dont really wana be friends with someone like that eyy...its kinds degrading to transexuals but who am i to tel her what to do anyway,i just dont talk with her anymore :roll:

if they do it for fun fair enough but it they're doing it to pick up men,then i dont really wanna be friendswith those types,

[felicia]

I agree, and esp. dislike smug ms. dazzler! thanks, ru

we are all somewhere on this gender continuum, all struggling to find out who we are and how to get there fully, so why all the putdowns and hatreds of the people closest to one's own? want to see a bunch of anti-gay christians on here instead?

dears, nobody here can claim to be the "in group" or the "normal" ones, while the others are abnormal or outsiders

i felt hurt and putdown because i was looking for a spiritual home here,
no, it's true, I don't live as a full-time ts, but have known i was one for forty years, have done things sexually and in terms of clothes and fem behavior maybe some of you "real" ones have never tried!

so let's all give huggs and kisses -- we're all sisters here!

[Jasadin]

I agree, thanks, ru

we are all somewhere on this gender continuum, all struggling to find out who we are and how to get there fully, so why all the putdowns and hatreds of the people closest to one's own? want to see a bunch of anti-gay christians on here instead?

dears, nobody here can claim to be the "in group" or the "normal" ones, while the others are abnormal or outsiders

i felt hurt and putdown because i was looking for a spiritual home here,
no, it's true, I don't live as a full-time ts, but have known i was one for several years.

so let's all give huggs and kisses -- we're all sisters here!


By changing a word or two I feel just like you.I was thinking that these are my people.They are like me.They understand me.They accept and embrace me.I was so naive.They say "our" people have the highest suicide rate.I'm starting to wonder how much of our own in house hate and/intolerance is added to the mainstream prejudice viewpoint.No wonder the closet is strong.We reinforce it :roll:

[allisony2k]

I'm starting to wonder how much of our own in house hate and/intolerance is added to the mainstream prejudice viewpoint.No wonder the closet is strong.We reinforce it :roll:

some of the worst cattyness and attitudes I've experienced have come from others within the TG spectrum. how can we try to change the attitudes of others if we're so critical of others within the spectrum?

I've also noticed a TG hierarchy, where the higher up you are, you can take the liberty of belittling those lower. but that just may be my experiences and observations.