To the girls why would you out your mate?

[XXX]

I recently read a post where monica(my crush) outed her bf cause they stopped talking my question is why do girls do that is that fair to the guy who at one times loves you or did love?

i need to read the post before i can make a comment which forum was it posted?

[NoOne]

the truth will set you free. i kept his secret almost 4 years. even almost a year after we broke up. i didn't out him because we broke up. i still love him. i outed him because his deranged baby's mother kept calling my phone (thinkin i'm a female) and saying shit like "oh he eats pussy so good" and "that's why i'm pregnant again". she was calling me almost every day for a year cuz she knew we were still fucking. you can only handle so much of someone dangling someone you love in front of your face. i snapped and i told her. and yes it was 100% FAIR.

[mark4tg]

from Moni's side of the story, i can side with her. The guy brings it on himself really by boucing between 2 girls & what not. If the psycho chick stopped harrassing Moni's problem solved.
is it the best way to deal with stuff? maybe not, there are possibly other pathes to resolution but it is what it is.

it is a very different situation than a girl just outing a guy for her own selfish desires. that would be pretty unfair.

[GrouchoM05]

the truth will set you free. i kept his secret almost 4 years. even almost a year after we broke up. i didn't out him because we broke up. i still love him. i outed him because his deranged baby's mother kept calling my phone (thinkin i'm a female) and saying shit like "oh he eats pussy so good" and "that's why i'm pregnant again". she was calling me almost every day for a year cuz she knew we were still fucking. you can only handle so much of someone dangling someone you love in front of your face. i snapped and i told her. and yes it was 100% FAIR.

I beg to differ. I don't think it's fair at all. I think it sounds pretty vindictive actually. It takes two to tango Moni and I bet you could have stopped that crazy lady's phone calls by not sleeping with him anymore. You're just as much at fault here for continuing to sleep with a guy that you clearly still had feelings for after breaking up with him. He didn't have you at gunpoint, did he?

And Mark, I believe Moni was being incredibly selfish and just thinking of herself. She wanted the calls to stop and outted the guy that she says she loved, irregardless of the effects that would have on him. How is that not selfish?

I don't know the whole story of course, but I think there were many other less extreme measures that could have been taken. I'm sorry but I lost some respect for you Monica after hearing about this. Mahalo

Matt

[NoOne]

o well, i dont owe anyone an explanation. hiding who you really are and what you really like and making someone keep a secret for years is selfish too. if your ashamed of what you do then do it. having someone hiding something n feeling uncomfortable around ya family and friends for years and worrying they will find out if u say or do the wrong thing is some stressful, horrible shit.

[GrouchoM05]

o well, i dont owe anyone an explanation. hiding who you really are and what you really like and making someone keep a secret for years is selfish too. if your ashamed of what you do then do it. having someone hiding something n feeling uncomfortable around ya family and friends for years and worrying they will find out if u say or do the wrong thing is some stressful, horrible shit.

That is true and I would consider that a very good reason to break up with someone. But you didn't, you continued to sleep with him so I feel you share culpability with him here. I also think it's wrong to out someone who doesn't want to be outted. It should be a personal choice and you took that away from him. I'm not saying that he's entirely blameless though. I think he should have stopped seeing you once he started going with this other gal.

How would you feel if he told everyone about something very personal about you as well? I'm sure there is something that you don't want to be public knowledge. Mahalo

Matt

[NoOne]

not really. i live my life as an open book.

[GrouchoM05]

OK, what's your social security number? :)