family/support systems

[Wynter Skye]

Hey all, I was just wondering how everyone else handles this essential need. My family doesn't really quite deal with me anymore, past an occasional phone call although we're in the same city. And I find myself pretty much alone. I've made and lost friends, but the friends that I don't lose to death or drugs, struggle more than I do and suffer emotionally as a result. I've tried to be there for them but once u lose someone to the streets...

In general I'm pretty level headed but sometimes the weight of being alone in the world is a lot to bear.

So basically, for the girls who are estranged from families, where do u find ur strength?

[Jordan]

Miss Skye, I want to hug you..I'm one of the fortunate ones that has amazing family support but I know alot of girls like you that do not have that. It's just like coming out so to speak the family goes through a process such as denial, blame then ultimately acceptance so hang in there and they will come around, you only have one family! I started transitioning through the route of being a showgirl and my family could accept me being in wrong body vs being gay (not that that is wrong) I just (like you I'm sure) have always felt different. Plus growing up in Europe where sexuality and so forth is much more open helped my cause to I believe. Hang in there mama it gets better!!

[Jim Beaux]

I can't help with the actual question you have asked.

But you might find the following useful.

The Family Acceptance Project found that GLBT youth who do not get 'banished' by their family are much, much less likely to become depressed, suicidal or take drugs. And it's NOT about the family wholeheartedly backing the child.

The study looks like it's principally re coming out as gay but it applies to TS as well.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jl1Az0ECSb7bidhhc7BDiGW54eXwD95C5LL8D

The link for the Family Acceptance Project is
http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/

Try to get your family members to read some of this. Other parents have change their views positively when they found out the impact it can have.

[quirkymuse]

i'm not a girl, nor do i have family problems, well, anyway, not on par with yours. So i really don't mean to sound like a jerk when i say you have my sympathy and a jordan-esqe hug.

and frankly, i'd kind of advise you not to worry about it. Life has a funny way of sorting things out, and over time things might happen that could bring you and your family back together.

[Wynter Skye]

Thanks Jordan. My family is so old school! My sister and I are talking and she loves me as I am. My mom loves me but admitted she doesn't respect me and is embarrassed by me. It stems really (I just learned this two months ago) from my mothers biological brother being tg. She was actually murdered for being passable and a guy not knowing. They found her tortured and murdered with a broomstick in her. This was before I was born My family blames their contempt for the lifestyle on religion, but it obviously goes far beyond that. Quite frankly that's the reason it took me so long to accept myself because of the strong views my fam always had.

Thanks again Jordan, I can feel ur arms from here sis! I'm good though, it just gets to u sometimes u know?

[Paulie]

Sis Winter: I think its only normal for parents to behave that way 'cause of the fear of the unknown. It's best to educate them on what and how being a TS is. Who knows that would work.

Personally, before i went to the open, i told myself that come what may, im doing this because this is making me happy. I know that on the process of showing your true self, you will gain and lose some people dear to your heart. And i think that's how life is, whatever your gender is, you will always lose and gain people along the way.

Being a TS is hard; the process is excruciatingly arduous both mentally and psychologically. You've reached this far, that itself is something to be proud of. Your loved ones surely know :)

[Wynter Skye]

Thanks all, I'm pretty sure the online community has kept a lot of folks sane lol.

U guys rock!

[Jim Beaux]

I lifted this from http://donnarose.com/MyBlog/?p=271

I never attended a conference during my transition. I envisioned living a stealth life where these kinds of things didn’t have a place - I never felt that I needed to go. I was wrong. I have since learned that these kinds of things can be very empowering and important. I have met some of my best friends at these events and continue to look forward to making new friends at events I attend each year. I hope they continue to thrive and grow.

The 2009 Conference Schedule is in the Events forum here, or use the link at the start of the message.