Foreign man for Asian t-girls

[izZyLicious]

why do Asian t-girls prefer to date foreign men than local men??
Do you believe it is becoz' most unfortunate asian t-girls believe that foreign men is a lifesaving for them no matter what age?? do you think there can be real love developed??

[Jim Beaux]

Izzy,

The girls from the Philippines paint a picture of the local men not wanting to be in open long term relationships.

As for foreigners, one romance started in this forum, and recently resulted in marriage. Ultra cool wedding pics -> http://www.tgirltalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4347

By the way, welcome to tgirltalk, nice to see you're posting.

Paalam.

[Ecstatic]

I agree with Jim, Izzy. But then I don't really know the PI scene as far as men and relationships go.

[izZyLicious]

nice to see you also Jim and ecstatic.. :)

[JeanClaude]

I think there was a complete big thread about "why westerners prefer asian tgirls", somewhere in here. I tried to find it, but maybe my inputs in the "search option" were not clear enough for the application. Or maybe I'm dumb... (wouldn't be the first time, though :lol: )

In this thread, you could have found accurate informations to answer your question, Izzy.

Oh, by the way, you found me on FaceBook ;)
:lol:

[JeanClaude]

I replaced one (ONE!) word and finally found this :

White Guys and Asian Girls (http://www.tgirltalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1887)

Should be interesting for you, Izzy... ;) :lol:

[izZyLicious]

I replaced one (ONE!) word and finally found this :


Should be interesting for you, Izzy... ;) :lol:


Thanks JeanCluade...
very interesting... by the way thanks for accepting my invite in facebook!!
God bless u;
kiss

[sass]

<o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" images="" smilies="" redface.gif="" border="0" alt="" title="embarrassment" smilieid="2" class="inlineimg"></o:smarttagtype>I've been giving discussions on transgender issues all over the Philippines for 7 years. One of the staple questions asked to me is: "how's love life?" or something along that line – this is often asked by girls. I can confidently answer any question posed to me but my confidence cowers whenever that question gets asked. Before I answer, I give a pregnant pause, look away, and answer it almost teary-eyed.

This area is devastating for transpinays (Filipina transgender women). My first boyfriend was a Filipino (a Chinese-Filipino) BUT he’s one in a million Filipino guys who have the courage to be in a relationship with a transwoman (our love, by the way, inspired me to pursue trans activism - that's another story). After him, my encounter with Filipino boys/men falls in any or a combination of the following:

1) A guy found me attractive. He had a meaningful conversation with me, he wanted to get to “know” me better. Then when he “found out”, he suddenly did an about face. Example: there was this guy who bookmarked my profile for a year on friendster.com. One day he sent me a message confessing how he found me really attractive (both physically and personality-wise). He asked for my number. I gave it as I find him attractive too. We instantly clicked during our first conversation as we had the same interests. Before his 3rd phone call, I told him that I was a transwoman. He was surprised and thought I was brave to live my life blah blah blah. Did we ever meet? No. The prospect of us ever meeting evaporated.

2) A guy was utterly in love with me but he didn't have the courage to be in a relationship with me because of what his friends, family, former girlfriends would think about him: is he insane? is he gay? is he a pervert? is he a dimwit? is he desperate? have you given up your biological duty to make a girl pregnant? This happened to me a LOOOOOOOOOT of times. A guy even told me that HE GOT DEEPLY DISTURBED when he felt that he was falling in love with me. Yikes.

3) Several guys asked me out BUT on one condition: Our date would be a clandestine one. And take note, these guys were SINGLE!

So have I lost faith in Filipino men? Not entirely. What I’ve noticed is: a Filipino guy raised or has just even lived in a Western country will most probably be in a relationship with a transwoman than a Filipino guy born, raised, and living in the Philippines. It’s just very complicated to be with a Filipino guy….very complicated....sadly complicated....

Why I go for Westerners?

1. Individualism is very strong in Western countries. This trait of Westerners, most often than not, makes them brave enough to fall in love and courageous enough to be in a relationship with transwomen – most often than not, they don’t give a fuss about what other people will say. A relationship where one is a transgender requires stronger guts and lots of balls: Westerners seem to have lots of balls and bigger ones - pun is accidental. But Filipino men? My goodness, Batman, Holy Cow, Jesus Mary & Joseph!!!! Just look at my example 2.

2. Based on my experience, my quirks and idiosyncrasies are more appreciated by Westerners - they simply get me. :-)

Do I think there can be real love developed?

Love, as Siddharta one said, is the liberation of the heart. In this non-sentimental sense, Love is a shared experience between two creatures who have found and reunited with the utter ecstasy, beauty, and bliss of Love within themselves first. This love is beyond race, culture, gender, age, distance, and all those boundaries. This takes tremendous courage to find. And this is often not present in relationships - whether they have any trans or non-trans involve in them. For usually, relationships become an escape from our selves. And this often proves to be more devastating than not being able to find a date for this tires the body, numbs the soul, and mutes the spirit...

This love doesn't develop but it overflows.


Warmly,
Sass

[Ecstatic]

Beautifully written and very insightful, if also rather sad, sass. One would hope things will improve, and I think they are, but sometimes progress seems glacial.

[Bad123456]

good write up :cool:

[GerryBass]

Recently began chatting with a very nice t-girl from the Philippines and I am hoping to come visit soon.
If things work out I would love to bring her back to the USA and she says she wants that too. What is the easiest way to go about this?

[brian56]

I am not filipino, so obviously can not make a comparison. I am a guy, who does have a relationship, long distance, with a filipino t girl, and I do not see this as a problem. Love is love, and why should not T girls be able to have love in their life, they have as much right to this as any other woman. Maybe that is the key to filipino t girls seeking relationships with 'westerners', maybe we have a different appreciation of life, and some of us are able to fully accept you as woman! But please note I say only some of us! - a very small percentage, and for some unknown reason we are able to accept t girls as they wish to be accepted! I think all t girls have this inner, deep seated wish to be accepted, to be cared for, protected, and loved, and why shouldn't they! In love, such things as race and age should never matter. Love is the physical and mental attraction and compatability between two people, and on a plane higher than friendship. For me personally, I love my gf, and I have this feeling and belief that I want her at my side at all times, I want to hold her as we are in the shopping malls, or walking the street, and have done so! Again, I want to hear her excited call as I excite the airport building upon arrival, I want this one more time, the time I arrive to live with her! as yes, I want to care for her, protect her, be with her, pamper her, and love her!

[Juliana_Dominguez]

if you wanna bring her here in the USA, make sure you get her a legal name and gender change right away, which state do you live at? cause some states won't legally change the sex of a transsexual woman, like texas and some other more states. You can petition her with a fiance visa. good luck. well that's my advice

[GerryBass]

Hi Juliana
Thanks for the info...I live in Michigan and she has not had SRS. Can I petition for a fiance visa if we get married in Massachuesets?

[Juliana_Dominguez]

Hi Juliana
Thanks for the info...I live in Michigan and she has not had SRS. Can I petition for a fiance visa if we get married in Massachuesets?

well get her a b-2 visa and get her here. then once she is here. get her the surgery that she needs and you can file for a name and gender change after that. then after you get the court order than get her an ID that says her new name and gender and then get married. New Jersey is a state i recommend. Make sure you have this ready, if she cant provide an ammended birth certificate, the court order with the new name and gender change will do, plus a valid ID or passport. goodluck

[GerryBass]

Thanks for the excellent information Juliana...Sadly I don't think things are going to work out quite as I hoped with my friend...

[brian56]

ah, a little disappointing as I think you should give your friend a chance. It does not seem very long since you start chat, or ???

[sweetnicole]

It will work Gerry... Just have faith in the relationship.

[brian56]

Good on you Nicole!!. I think well said, short and to the point. The 'key' is faith, acceptance, trust and respect.

[sweetnicole]

and of course LOVE.

[GerryBass]

You are all very nice and I appreciate the kind words Chris and Nicole and Brian and Juliana. I just don't feel like she wants to be with me enough to do what it will take to be together. Maybe that is part of the long distance relationship or maybe I haven't won her heart...
Ah well..such is love I guess...

[brian56]

Hi Gerry, sometimes I think when we have a relationship, or are seriously thinking of entering into on, we, as guys need to consider trying to think how the other person thinks, and lives. When considering a relationship with a filopino you also need to consider the family relationship as exists in her life. I know that with my girlfriend, she has a very accepting and loving family, I can not speak for all, but I do know some have no desire to go elsewhere, and I suspect those are the ones with a strong family tie, ah for me, my answer is I will go there! In the time you knew this girl, did you ever visit her, or even offer to help with such small costs as internet access. To a filopino such costs can be high, although to you or me they will seem so insignificant and low! Some girls, mine included, do not have paid employment, and do live just day by day, and I think you need to experience how they live to understand them better. For whatever reason do not judge them by american standards, and yes, untill such time as a physical meeting a long distance reltauinship can be difficult, with me, I have actually found it more difficult after we meet, as at time, yes, we knew we were both in love, and I have hated being apart from her ever since! We are only now still apart due to needs of closing off one life, and the finances as need to begin the new life!

[GerryBass]

Hey Brian
Thanks again. I think her situation is a little bit different in that she works and lives with family and doesn't have to worry about rent etc.
She is absolutely gorgeous and I think has had some bad experiences with foreign guys. A few have let her down and I think she is reluctant to open up for that reason.
You are correct in that the only solution is to meet. If it doesn't work fine. I can live with that. If it does...what then? I guess I will deal with that when the time comes. But you seem to have found a solution and I hope that we can too...

[brian56]

Hi Gerry. yes, it is good to meet, and please remember to treat her as and like a woman! She deserves this, and keep in mind that she is likely very intelligent and is not somebody that you can dictate to or push around. I think in regards taking her to the US, back off a little, start again and take it slow. Do not rush her, build a relationship, a relationship that will last! Her family and friends, people that have supported her through her life will be important to her, and please learn to respect this and them. When visiting her, keep in mind that you are on her turf, so she becomes your guide, and yes take note of anything she suggests. But at all times treat her as a woman, if you are able to think this even better! If there is something between you two, this should not be difficult to do!
Gerry, if it works for the both of you, you will know, and yes you will work thru it. I can assure you it is worth it!

[GerryBass]

Alas...Seems I have lost her to another...

[sweetnicole]

oh... sorry to hear that. just be patient. someone is still out there looking for someone like you.

[phoejay]

Finding someone who would accept transwomen is hard, Filipina girls like me still has to cross seas and go to the other side of the world to find someone who we truly deserve.

[GerryBass]

Thank you again for your help and support...it means a lot. I wanted to give her so much but it was not to be. Maybe one day...for now I am broken hearted.

[Juliana_Dominguez]

it takes a ton of sacrifices to date a filipina ts bec of the distance. patience is a virtue. just keep the faith

[brian56]

In reply to Phoejay, sometimes it is us who cross the seas, as on occasion some of us find that special somebody who has no wish to leave that place which to them is home. And in reply to Juliana, true the sacrifices are great, but they are worth it and I believe in my own life they have made me stronger, and I am looking forward to that day when again when I hear the excited call as I walk out from the airport building and we are able to walk hand in hand, side by side thru the malls and streets.
I think for me, the next hurdle is to be able to stay long term, preferrably permanently as funds are limited and some of what we do have has been utilised for a small business.

[aiyah]

why do Asian t-girls prefer to date foreign men than local men??
Do you believe it is becoz' most unfortunate asian t-girls believe that foreign men is a lifesaving for them no matter what age?? do you think there can be real love developed??

yes i think yes at first most of unfortunate pinay ts is looking for forein men to save them from down. but somehow pinay trans are truely sweet loving and care inside so in a time they always fall and willing to love and learn:)

[aiyah]

Recently began chatting with a very nice t-girl from the Philippines and I am hoping to come visit soon.
If things work out I would love to bring her back to the USA and she says she wants that too. What is the easiest way to go about this?


well i think the easiest way is yes go and meet her personally coz in that way i believe thats true meaning of getting to know each other more u know!:)

[aiyah]

if you wanna bring her here in the USA, make sure you get her a legal name and gender change right away, which state do you live at? cause some states won't legally change the sex of a transsexual woman, like texas and some other more states. You can petition her with a fiance visa. good luck. well that's my advice

u are brilliant im learning alot from ur answers from briann Q's:)

[brian56]

In my relationship, I know if I convinced my gf to come to NZ, I can replace all she has where she is, and to me, a special part of her is her family and friends, and I view these as irreplacable, so for myself my answer is to go where she is. There is times when she is upset with family, but these times are only very short lived. If she came here I know that she would only have myself, and even here there is discrimination, despite well intentioned laws.

[heartsong33]

I am a newbie here, did in fact discover this site today. Please indulge my weighing in here on a subject which resonates for me.

The principal attraction for me with respect to Pinay girls and t-girls is the caring demonstrated every day by them which eclipses that shown by any western women of my considerable experience. They simply excel at giving of themselves, know how to attend to a man's needs, know how to embrace and keep his heart, know how to make a man feel loved and appreciated. Seldom do they employ hidden agendas. Their genuineness and loyalty is most probably a product of cultural inculcation. Couple that with the fact that they are sweet, beautiful and require more than anything else that we reciprocate their love and favoring them over other girls the world over is a no contest proposition. I speak here in reference to Cebuana girls/t-girls in particular. Often these t-girls refer to themselves as simple. Experience has shown me that they are simply exceptional and often magnificent.

The Philippines is certainly a great treasure house of t-girl beauty. I have a longstanding relationship with a t-girl there whom I am wanting to bring to the states to share my life here. We were friends long before anything resembling romance became part of our lives. The obstacles in the way of the process of bringing her to the states are lamentably archaic. The laws in place both in the P.I. and in the U.S. are slow to change. My hat's off to those advocates who will persist in the struggle for equality in all countries, in all government. If there is an easier way to effect her relocation here, I'd certainly like to be enlightened as to the details. Failing that, retirement in Cebu is a back-up plan. Thanks for your consideration.

[Ecstatic]

Welcome to the forum, heartsong33!

[chinee_ladyboy]

well for me...

I found foreign men are more deeper to be in love with a ts pinay than the local men...

most local guys here are into "money involve" when having a relationship with ts pinays (hindi ko nilalahat pero karamihan ganun) unlike foreign guys they were so sincere and can love a ts with all there heart and willing to support there partner financially

its just my opinion :)