Why do TS try to hide their identity? (Spinoff)

[A_Thug_Fessional]

Okay, I just read a post on here that was dedicated to fallen TS angels. In it, someone had mentioned one of their girls had gotten killed for dating a guy who didn't know she used to be a he. Now, i'm not passing judgement or anything like that but don't you think that in this day and age (where a human life practically means a way to become famous or gain instant respect) it would be a smart thing to be upfront about who and what you are, at least as it pertains to dating or god forbid, having sex with someone?

I don't condone killing of being violent to homosexuals or anything like that but don't you accept some type of responsibility for being deceiptful? What do you gain from misleading these cats? Is it really worth that much, your life, to be accepted or be known as a 'real girl'?

It's just not that serious fam. I think we all need to wake up and stop living in this fantasy land. We are who we are, we like what we like, being misleading or dishonest about it will only hurt in the long run.

RIP for those who fell by the wayside because of some scenario like this.

[MacShreach]

Okay, I just read a post on here that was dedicated to fallen TS angels. In it, someone had mentioned one of their girls had gotten killed for dating a guy who didn't know she used to be a he. Now, i'm not passing judgement or anything like that but don't you think that in this day and age (where a human life practically means a way to become famous or gain instant respect) it would be a smart thing to be upfront about who and what you are, at least as it pertains to dating or god forbid, having sex with someone?

I don't condone killing of being violent to homosexuals or anything like that but don't you accept some type of responsibility for being deceiptful? What do you gain from misleading these cats? Is it really worth that much, your life, to be accepted or be known as a 'real girl'?

It's just not that serious fam. I think we all need to wake up and stop living in this fantasy land. We are who we are, we like what we like, being misleading or dishonest about it will only hurt in the long run.

RIP for those who fell by the wayside because of some scenario like this.

I think, and I'm in a place where I know I'll be corrected if I'm wrong, that this has to do with a passionate pursuit of a dream, so passionate that it takes over. You're looking at it like I would, from the outside, interested, curious--concerned for people's safety and feelings. But you and I don't get up in the morning and say "I'm going to turn me into something else." And then go out and do whatever it takes to get there.....

This is difficult to explain, but I'll try this.You're a photog, like me, so you want to be the best....Have you never put yourself in harm's way to get that picture? Wouldn't you hold on to the camera, while the elephant began to charge, the militiaman raised his rifle....Wouldn't you run across a street in Beirut with bullets whizzing around you because the fighter you were photographing was running too? Never been in the middle of a demo that somehow turned into a riot and the cops were breaking heads all around you? Never suddenly realised that in your pursuit of a picture you were about to get hurt?

I think when the girls go out they're pumped, they have the adrenaline going, they have that edge. Anyone who has ever got up on stage knows the kick and these girls live it......Sure, maybe it would be sensible to, you know, whisper "BTW I got a cock," but get real, man. It's not gonna happen. The girl is there, she's being believed...the dream is made true. It would take superhuman will to say there and then, "Hokay, you gotta realise this is not how it is....."

And the fact is it might not even help to say it. There was a comment here earlier about a kid who got killed when her boyfriend, who knew she was TS, got razzed by his male chums and so to make himself look good in their eyes he went and killed her. Wahoo.

So the boot has to be on the other foot. You have to condemn male violence completely and look at the things in your (and my) culture that lead to people getting beaten up or killed and start yelling STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!

Violence is never all right. It can only ever be justified as defence from similar force. I know from reading your stuff that you know this, and that your comment proceeds from the view that you don't want to see the girls get hurt. So I'm not railing at you. Like you, I'm gonna say, stay away from trouble, learn when to get the hell out.....Sure. I agree. That's sensible. But the violence is coming from the men, and it's us that has to stop it.

[honeybabie]

I've always been an up front kind of girl when it comes to telling the guys about my business. I just think that honesty is the best policy as far as dealing with guys goes. Guys can very unpredictable in this situation. Sometimes they can look at it as you trying to perpatrate them or you trying to be deceitful with it. And you never know what can happen. Plus I also have a take it or leave it kinda attitude as far as it goes anyways. Its this or that. So I'm not insecure with it. But to each, his own. But as far as everyone else in the world that I do not hold close to my heart is concerned it's none of their business.

[lisaparadise]

everyone has such awesome points especially the passion involved in ones desision to transform from a boy to a girl.anyone that has never taken horormones really has no idea what were up against here.the mental capacity to comprehend what the horomones are doing to our chemical make up is very scary yet so wonderfully amazing.we have to be so strong minded to deal with every emotion in witch were not acustomed to having.so if some of us dont carry ourselves at times as well as others its usually due to the horomones.i always thought that using the horomone thing was an out for poor behavior untill i changed my prescription and went on a maximum dosage,ill be the first to admit yes it messed me up at times and no i dont wanna make escuses for my juvinile behavior in the past but im trying to turn a new chapter in my life and this will help me turn the page. i have let some girls down in the past few months example lexi whom i miss a great deal i should have let it go but i wasnt big enough.i owe alot of my thinking right now to trinity for she steered me in the right direction last weekend,trinity your a truely beautifull soul .as stupid as this will sound last weekend you gave me hope and my dreams back something i had lost somewhere along the way.i remeber back last year when i started my transition i so wanted to help anyone and everyone and i wanted to touch someone life in someway i want to get back to that point and now i think i am.to everyone reading this thanks for taking the time and i hope life treats you kind, take care always lisa

[Chantel Chardonnay]

i have to say hon i admire your courage and honesty in your post..i believe we all let pple down at certain times and even ourselves.but to realize and admit takes a wonderful person.. myself have changed alot on the mones,mostly in a positive way as im quite laid back now,prob to much as sometimes im just lazy :) wish you well love chantel xox

[lisaparadise]

ty babe

[suchgreatheights]

I think that its sometimes a dilemma because it can be very confusing when "your past" can define a guys attraction to you.

More than often guys who profess love change their minds when they find out about me. And sometimes I think TS do it simply for fear of losing the guy they like.

It is also in hope (maybe mostly vain hope) that the guy falling in love with them... would love them so much after knowing her better that it wouldn't matter to him after he found out later. Since chances are, the guy might reject her at the start without even giving a chance to find out more about her.

I think though if a preop TS is going to have sex with a guy, it would be better to prepare him before hand though rather than waiting till the moment for him to find out. For the fallen angels thread, this person whom I really feel great sadness for wasn't actually included - Venus extravaganzza from Paris of Burning, watching her really just touched me alot...

[a_thug_fessional]

I think that its sometimes a dilemma because it can be very confusing when "your past" can define a guys attraction to you.

More than often guys who profess love change their minds when they find out about me. And sometimes I think TS do it simply for fear of losing the guy they like.

It is also in hope (maybe mostly vain hope) that the guy falling in love with them... would love them so much after knowing her better that it wouldn't matter to him after he found out later. Since chances are, the guy might reject her at the start without even giving a chance to find out more about her.

I think though if a preop TS is going to have sex with a guy, it would be better to prepare him before hand though rather than waiting till the moment for him to find out. For the fallen angels thread, this person whom I really feel great sadness for wasn't actually included - Venus extravaganzza from Paris of Burning, watching her really just touched me alot...


But wouldn't you want that person to love you for who you truly are? Or do you think it's right that they fall in love with an illusion? Wouldn't you want a man to be truthful to you? This is where the conflict is with me. Don't lie about it.

[lisaparadise]

i quess thats why i am alittle different i dont hide anything about my past who i am who i was who i will become.i want total honesty from everyone i know cause they know im straight up with everything and everyone.i get asked all the time whats my real name thats sorta stuff i have no problem in telling them,toomany girls get right upset if u even bring it up.i just dont care and i am certainly not ashamed of me or my past as a boy.neither should anyone else.they will say its not important who i was just who i am now,bullshit who u were before has everything to do with who u r now.the only major difference is the shell of ones outter self.inside i am very happy when i lost dave aka my boys name that i didnt lose any of my best qualitties such as my mind my heart and my soul,when people meet me in person they know i am not phony at all what u see is what you get,my smile and my words show through when i speak,u see it in my eyes and u hear it in my voice.thats why i have alot of friends,my boyfriends ask me a question they get a sttraight and honest answer if they dont like it cya buy quess what i havent lost anyone yet lol end of story

[suchgreatheights]

But wouldn't you want that person to love you for who you truly are? Or do you think it's right that they fall in love with an illusion? Wouldn't you want a man to be truthful to you? This is where the conflict is with me. Don't lie about it.

Loving you for who you truly are can be a really cliched term, since who you truly are consists of both internal and external qualities ( physical appearance though always seems to be a factor)

Its a dilemma since I think sexuality is largely defined on how a person appears from the outside. I don't dispute that part of attraction includes loving the "person inside" but really only to a certain extent. Heterosexual or homosexual, involves physical attraction only. Het guys like women's bodies and Hs guys like men's bodies.

But this case is slightly different, since when the average straight man knows about your past, his mental image of you changes into that of a man, though in reality he is looking at a woman. After all the most common reason guys don't date TS is becos they think doing so would make them gay.

The word illusion really is hard to define since I think gender is a social construct. Gender is a physical attribution, just like other socially determined charecteristics like race, body size etc. Some can be changed like gender and body size, and sometimes changing it can help in terms of physical attraction from others. I don't know how much of an illusion is something when its something you can see and touch and feel. (I know my boobs are really just water balloons, but many guys seem to fancy that illusion)

Given how much a mental bias might factor over what can be empircally observed, some ppl choose not to tell. Not because they are lying but just that their partners see things differently. I would likely tell though simply because some parts of my past can't be hidden.

Honestly I would like a guy to be truthful to me but its weird sometimes that I could love someone very much (yes including the person inside) until in some instance he admits to sleeping regularly with someone else. Or like in some cases, some of you guys might have loving wives and girlfriends but do not know that you like tranny porn... Or that whether people like your friends, family or SO's would understand you're really not gay though you've slept with transgirls.

My point really is that people see things differently thats why you choose to hide some things and less of the licence to start doing wrong things (cos you can argue to the other extreme like not telling if you have aids). You can't really force them to accept and also sometimes its too painful when they see things differently... so really not telling is not about lying.