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CaliBoy951
10-02-2005, 04:05 PM
A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?"
Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job.
Guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Jesus Christ! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"
"Yes."
"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"
"Yes."
"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"
"Yes."
"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."
Guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try." They retire to a nearby motel.
A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"
The hooker replies, "$1,500."
I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"
The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up."
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"
The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?"
"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"
"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."

CaliBoy951
10-02-2005, 04:07 PM
Sorry about those links!!!!! I copied the joke from a site NOT realizing that there were active links!!!!!!
Sorry!

10-02-2005, 04:11 PM
cali boy htey were utterly silly jokes,but i give you a clap lol i mean clap clap :) for being soo cute muah

Harajuku Tgirl
10-02-2005, 04:21 PM
...

JohnnyPaycheck
10-02-2005, 04:44 PM
cali boy htey were utterly silly jokes,but i give you a clap lol i mean clap clap :) for being soo cute muah

Funny Joke! But dont give Caliboy "CLAPs".. :shock: Applause perhaps? LOL.

~Kisses.

HTG

hahhhahaha, oh my god that was so funny.

Gia Darling
10-02-2005, 05:00 PM
what a cute joke!!!

jedro
10-06-2005, 07:09 PM
The great Red Indian, (should that be native American?) Cheif, Wrestles with Bear, dies, his eldest son, George Howling Wolf, who had been sent to study the ways of the white man, was called back to his homeland, to take charge of the tribe.
It is coming to the end of summer and one of his warriors asks him,
"Will we have a good winter or a bad one?"
Not having a clue about the ways and folklore of his tribe, he aires on the side of caution,
"Its going to be a bad winter, go gather firewood!"
Once he is alone he phones the met office, just to be on the safe side,
"Hello, I wonder if you can tell me what the winter will be like?"
The official answers,
"Its gonna be bad!"
The new Chief is feeling slightly more confident.
As the months pass, Autumn, (fall, if you must, lol,) comes and again he asked,
"Winter, will it be bad, or really bad?"
The Cheif answers,
"Really bad, go collect more firewood and blankets!"
Once again he phones the met office and is now told that the weather will be really harsh, and this time his confidence is swelling within him.
The leaves have fallen from the trees and the geese have flown, when once again the warrior approaches,
"Winter is upon us, will it be really bad or severe, harsh weather?"
The Cheif feeling totally in control, looks at the sky, raises his hand and turns to the warrior,
"It is going to be severe, plummeting temperatures and snow, find all the firewood, blankets and supplies you can and hurry!"
The Cheif drives out of the reservation and phones the met office,
The official again puts his mind at rest,
"It is gonna be a long hard, freezing cold, sonoffabitch winter!"
The Chief ponders this a moment,
"How can you know?"
He asks,
"Well," says the met official, "The redskins are runnin around gatherin supplies, like theres no tomorrow!!!!!!!!!"


Had to pass that on, lmfao, when I heard it, Luv ya Jed

luvfreshmilk
10-10-2005, 06:11 AM
cute joke but not as cute as the one who posted it... love ya cali lol

Hugh Jarrod
10-14-2005, 08:08 PM
Just thought I'd bump this one, I'll ad a joke or two later.