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[LeoraMoore]

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[maggiegee]

"When" and "if" to tell is always difficult to determine.

Some women prefer to share that information right from the begining. Others wait to see if the interaction is going to lead anywhere.

A good approach may be a combination of the two. If, you encounter a person, and you feel that you would like to take it further, and that the feeling is mutual, then perhaps go ahead and confide. That way, you don't invest too much time into that person

However be very mindful of how you "perceive" that person will react. Also,"when" and "where" you tell a person can be just as inportant as the "if".

A first date in a bar, may not be the best time to confide that kind of information, as peoples judgement may be impaired. And overall, I don't think I would divulge on a first date under those conditions, unless you were headed to the boudoir, and if that's the cae you have a different set of variables.

[geekmeat]

Whatever you do DONT DATE LESBIANS!!!
I dont know why I said that.......he he
Just joking ........
You should try to hook up with a guy.....
Stop going to those fruity places.......you wont find a guy there......
I think bookstores are a good place to meet people......at least you know they can read(DONT LAUGH!).
Dont go blabbing about your transition or any of that stuff until you know this person good.
ZIP IT ZIP ZIP IT!

[quirkymuse]

i would not insult you by pretending i have any idea what you're feeling in this situation, but i can tell you this:

secrets never stay secret because the person you trusted only tells the person they trusted, who only tells the person they trusted, who only...you get the point

bttm line, she said she wouldn't say anything, and yet she clearly would, clearly did...and clearly will again.

you can take her or leave her, but don't lie to yourself about her.

[LeoraMoore]

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[NICOLE757]

What is the big deal if she tells her lesbo friends that you are a TS? I understand that you are a woman now, but still- these are woman who tie there titis down, wear their hair short all to look like a man (well at least some of them)... you shouldn't feel ashamed, embarresed, or feel different when you are around them. A fruit is a fruit baby; whether its a bannana or cherries!

If she told you about that the girl at the other club was a TS- I think that that was her way of letting you know that you're not the only Tgirl here. Maybe she was setting your mind at ease. Maybe she thought by telling you that, then you wouldn't be so uptight about letting the bulldaggers know about it. I think that you are just blowing the whole thing out of porportion.

There are more and more real woman and Tgirl relationship, now than ever. A friend of mine got married to woman (even though she looks like a cute lil dude)- so do what you are heart desires. Experience all that you can and want to experience. They say experience is the best teacher- after you're done, you'll realize what you really want.

[Ecstatic]

Sounds like maybe you invested a little too much trust in someone you obviously like a great deal and get along with well, but who you don't really know yet. As quirkymuse says, if each person tells only the one person they really trust (big if right there), it's still going to spread. Few people can truly keep a secret (my sister-in-law told me a monster secret that she made me vow never to tell my wife, who I can tell anything, and so I have this mega secret--not MINE--which I can never divulge, so I know it can be rough).

I agree with Nicole that you may be blowing it out of proportion, and I think Maggie makes some excellent points about when and if to disclose this information about yourself.

[LeoraMoore]

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[tunaeatingb]

I think that Nicole has some great points here. From what you said when you were explaining the situation, I think she is definitely right about your friend attempting to set your mind at ease. I wouldn't read any more into it than that.

I do agree with when/why you chose to tell her... I think it is respectful and definitely keeps you both from wasting time. Not to mention, it may bring out her true character. Also, it seems that you always know who your true friends are in the end. If she can't keep her mouth shut and respect you, maybe you shouldn't hang out with her.

How about just quickly reminding her that you would rather other people not know about your secret? Just try not to be confrontational and get her on the defensive...

[WillowQueen]

Girl tell their girlfriends (emphasize the friend part) everything! That's a law of nature. True, it's not always the case but it happens in the majority of situations. Why do GG's (and many tgrils like myself) talk on damn phone so much? I would've had a feeling she was going to tell somebody... but not like she was setting you up or anything.
But hey, it's nice to know some girls find you attractive, even after they know. Lesbians are really a wild card for tgirls.

hi angela i just thought id ask if you have had any facial feminization done already?

[LeoraMoore]

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[tazz]

iam single Angela :D
just hang in there

[NICOLE757]

It's just an issue for me because a) I'd rather not have people know and b) I really need some friends in the area.

How can you expect to meet people, and for them to accept you as a friend when you're not being totally honest? I think we don't want people to know, but shit- if they know- OH WELL! I'm sure that someone knowing is not going to stop you from being you- so PAY IT! When i say pay, I mean don't pay it any attention.