FIRST MOMENT YOU WERE SURE YOU WERE A TS

[felicia]

I'd love to hear about these instances of revelation and self-awareness, mine came at a party where I was a bit drunk on a hot tropical night and feelin sexy girly, noticed all the guys on softball team I used to play for (badly!) were on one side of big living room, in tight jeans, playing pool, sipping beer, while their wives and gfs were all on the other, seating around couch in black dresses, pearls, new dos, bare logs, etc., I closed my eyes and asked my heart to tell me which side of the room I belonged on, and I got the answer 100 percent with the girls in the black dresses!

[Harajuku Tgirl]

...

[Arianna]

I knew something was wrong when I was about a year or two old. This is my earliest memory: I was in my mom's room while she was sorting through some of her clothes. She had some scarves and gloves out on the bed. I reached for a scarf that I liked, and asked her if I could have one too. She said, "No, honey. Those are the clothes that mommy wears. You wear clothes like daddy; boys' clothes." And I replied, "But I want one!" She just looked concerned and a little bummed out, and said, "No. Little boys don't wear these things." Next was when I was about 3 or 4. My grandmother was putting on nail polish, and I asked her if she would paint my nails too. She gave me the same kind of answer as my mom. But after I cried and begged her, she finally caved in. My mom got home, and was like, "What's he doing w/ that on his nails?" So my grandmother told her. My mom said, "Look. You can't do things like this. You're a boy. When you go to school, the other boys aren't going to be wearing this." I was pretty upset. When I was about 6 or 7, I got caught putting on my mom's makeup. This time, it was my dad who caught me. He said, "What the hell are you doing? Who are you supposed to be? Cinderella? Don't act like a sissy!" Way to be understanding, dad. And then few years later, I saw a tv show that did a thing about 'sex-change operations'. That REALLY got my attention. That's when I knew that I was not the only one, and maybe someday I'd do something about it. All this stuff was way before I had any kind of sexual desires at all. But when I was like 10, I remember wanting to kiss the girls AND the boys. One time I came close to kissing a boy when I was in the 6th grade. But I knew that it would have caused me problems, because I already heard other kids throw around words like "faggot". It wasn't until I was about 12 that I finally got up the nerve. I was at my friend's house, and while he was taking a shower, I was sitting on the couch, watching tv with his older brother. I looked over at him, our eyes met, and I just leaned over and kissed him. He was suprised, but not mad. He said, "Don't do that again, ok? Let's just forget it. But don't tell anybody about this, and don't ever do that again. OK?" I agreed. But, yeah, they don't exactly cover this stuff in health class. ;)

[MsDazzler]

I just knew that I was not right growing up. I mistakenly took on a gay identity when I was in high schol because I didnt know that there was ANOTHER option other than being gay, bi, or straight. I dressed occasionally, but I finally realized my true Tgrrl identity thansk to meeting amother Tgirl... we went out a lot and got on fabulously..

Then here I am!

[felicia]

thanks, I am overwhelmed by the openness and honesty of all the gurls!

When I was about eight, my parents caught me making a drawing of myself (as boy) wearing black stocking, garter, a wig and heavy eye make-up...if they had only seen something was wrong and sent me to shrink, it wouldn't have taken me forty years to find out what I am!

My mother hung her corsets, bras, etc. to dry in my bathroom and I dressed regularly in them from age ten on

When couldn;t find, I wore towels as dresses, bras, wigs, etc.

At twelve, I bought a magazine at newstand and ran home excited, not knowing what it was -- turned out to be FI (Female Impersonators)

AT fourteen, my first wet dream was me fondling a teenage girl in a bikini, but as my penis became hard in real life, in dream the penis was inside her bikini bottom! girl was ME

when showed first Playboy pix and other porn by schoolmates, I ALWAYS imagined myself as the girl in the photo, wndering how she felt, not wanting to do anything to her, with her

at seventeen, picked upmy first drag queen, not quite knowing why, then let her fuck me in the ass even though it hurt like hell

isn't it OBVIOUS what I am?

[Arianna]

thanks, I am overwhelmed by the openness and honesty of all the gurls!

When I was about eight, my parents caught me making a drawing of myself (as boy) wearing black stocking, garter, a wig and heavy eye make-up...if they had only seen something was wrong and sent me to shrink, it wouldn't have taken me forty years to find out what I am!

My mother hung her corsets, bras, etc. to dry in my bathroom and I dressed regularly in them from age ten on

When couldn;t find, I wore towels as dresses, bras, wigs, etc.

At twelve, I bought a magazine at newstand and ran home excited, not knowing what it was -- turned out to be FI (Female Impersonators)

AT fourteen, my first wet dream was me fondling a teenage girl in a bikini, but as my penis became hard in real life, in dream the penis was inside her bikini bottom! girl was ME

when showed first Playboy pix and other porn by schoolmates, I ALWAYS imagined myself as the girl in the photo, wndering how she felt, not wanting to do anything to her, with her

at seventeen, picked upmy first drag queen, not quite knowing why, then let her fuck me in the ass even though it hurt like hell

isn't it OBVIOUS what I am?

Damn straight, it is clear. You are a closet sissy and a tranny-chaser! Do I win a fuckin' prize or what? :lol:

[KaMiLeUnGuRl]

I was kinda leary when i seen (what i think) was its first posting TAMPONS I MEAN COME ON.... This is obviously a tranny chasing closet case or ONE SICK PERSON... I dont know i think its stupid and dont get me wrong a couple of the questions were cool but felis answers are just childike and fantasia like, wondered about this for a minute then it gets pointed out HAHA BTW ARI OOD ANSWER YOU WIN MY LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION to the closet queens finders club HAHA

[Jordan]

does she win a toaster?...

[KaMiLeUnGuRl]

She wins a tampon HAHAHAHA

[lisaparadise]

a toaster omfg i hope it comes with instrutions

[lisaparadise]

try shovin that up your ass babe thats about as hot as your ass is gonna get lol

[Harajuku Tgirl]

...

[Arianna]

Actually, I think I'll go w/ the curling iron, or even the toaster. But "Felecia" can keep that tampon. I think it must have some sentimental value by now anyway. :lol:

[MsDazzler]

I m curious.. Has any one of you mistakenly carried on a gay identity for years before realizing you were not gay?

[felicia]

I feel really hurt by your comments -- why attack those closest to you?
I may not quite have the courage or motives to become fulltime girl but I have all the same desires, thoughts, etc as you and I look to this sight for some sympathy -- I am not chasing anyone, gurls, but my true self (which I know is felicia!)

harajuku with all those hormones you took did it at some point made you fat? i was just wondering cause i know a few girls who takes alot of hormones but they only gain little weight :?

when you were young and people thought you were a girl :lol: duh

[Juliana_Dominguez]

since i was three years old, i know that i'm a girl...

[allisony2k]

just knew that I was not right growing up. I mistakenly took on a gay identity when I was in high schol because I didnt know that there was ANOTHER option other than being gay, bi, or straight.

yup, that's me, too.
I knew something was up around age 5/6. spent years hiding the fact that I would dress when no one was home. then in late high school I thought I was gay, but it wasn't quite right. then I thought I was CD, but that wasn't quite right. then I got on the 'net and found out about TS and that described me totally. I spent about 20 years in denial or binging (dressing) and purging (throwing it all out and trying to be 'male') until the year 2000 when I decided to finally stop living in denial and accept myself for who I am.

thus, allisonY2K was born. :)